Dear Amy: You actually offered a few valid thoughts on this one, but overall go off the mark. You seem to get entrenched with your own thought processes, rather than what the Wannabe Bride is divulging to you. The Bride and Groom need to discuss the reasons for their preferred choices. What they divulge to each other may be more about their individual values (what they consider public or private) or personal issues (shyness) rather than their marital values. Amy, just because a person can “handle” a large reception (notice handle, not prefer), doesn’t mean they aren’t painfully shy. If she doesn’t like large crowds, or prefers to be in small groups in general, and he is the opposite, that is something they need to understand about each other, before marriage. I compliment the couple on discussing compromises, but they really need to work on discussing what is below the surface.